11:00 a.m. - 2002-08-30
Miscellaneous Musings
Kelsey: "My head hurts."
Me: "Watch out, you might have a baby emerge from your head!"
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We're going to Vermont in a few hours. Those of you who read jessica5787 may remember when Lauren got into Middlebury early decision last December; the time has come for her to actually go. After she got in, Mom and Dad quickly made reservations at a little inn where they stayed when David interviewed. We have three nights this weekend, and we're all going up (minus David, who is going up to Bates today, hitching a ride off his friend Jeremy). Lauren's room is on the fourth floor, so Saturday is going to be Slave Labor Day. She has so much stuff. The Yukon XL back is completely loaded, we may have to go onto the roof, plus Kelsey, Alexa, and I all have bags for the weekend, plus backpacks which will have to go in our laps. I'll be back sometime Monday.
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"Lady Knight" came from amazon.com today. That's going in the car on the way up, and all four of us will read it. Lauren gets first priority, since, well, she's leaving, and I get second.
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Last night we went out for dinner at our favorite Mexican restaurant in the city. This is the restaurant that catered David and Lauren's Bar and Bat Mitzvahs. It was an early celebration for David's birthday (he'll be 20 on September 5th, his second day of school). Dan G. came, who I know I've mentioned here before, plus his friend, nicknamed Shag for some reason. Shall we shag now, or shall we shag later? This guy did NOT deserve that nickname.
The ride up to NYC (about 40 minutes) we had eight people stuffed into the Yukon (which does fit eight), and were incredibly squished in the back, so Kelsey, Alexa, and I felt kinda nauseous by the time we got there. But dinner was, as always, delicious -- tinga poblana (this delicious shredded pork thing), carne asada, chocolate chile cake. I love that restaurant.
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Lauren wants to burn all of her CDs for college so she won't lose the originals or have them stolen. Alexa's working on that now.
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I love the LOTR sisters! Yesterday I went and visited almost every single one to read the most recent entry and say hi. I really missed them. I think I still have sixteen more to visit, though. A lot of new sisters joined this summer, yay! I'll check them out when I get back.
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Lauren's downstairs taking her DVDs with her to college, wah wah wah. It sucks, because some of the best ones she bought or was given: "Moulin Rouge," "Zoolander," "Center Stage," "10 Things I Hate About You," "Legally Blonde," "Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion"...
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I talked to Lisa R. yesterday, who's going to be my SAT tutor this year. Lauren and David both worked with her and they said she's really nice. I have to learn fifty new vocab words a week, which should be interesting, I don't mind, but I've never stuck to that kind of rigid testing schedule. On Tuesday I need to do practice SAT II tests for writing and math IC. I guess I don't mind doing writing, but I know I'm going to do extremely poorly on the math. I'm guessing 500's, because I suck at math anyway, I haven't done math all summer, I haven't done that kind of math since last December when I took the SAT for practice, and... I... just... am... BAD... at... MATH! Yeugh. So, yeah, that's my plan for Tuesday, then fax them to her and get graded, and we'll know what we have to work with.
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Why do I always pile too much on myself? I always overestimate my abilities to cope and always underestimate the difficulty of what I'm getting into. Prime examples: eighth grade, an activity every single day of the week (though admittedly, some were not voluntary, *cough*piano*cough*; I did ceramics, piano, Hebrew School, musical theater, and hiphop), last year when I had planned to take the global Regents in January and the AP European History exam in May (this almost amuses me), my plan of independently learning four years of Spanish that I've forgotten and taking the Regents last year.
This year I'm taking AP Psychology, AP French, and honors physics at the high school, which hopefully shouldn't be too bad, I guess the lack of AP Chemistry will definitively lighten the load, though I did really want to take that class. With homeschool, I need to finish global history in less than two months (I have about 400 pages of reading left in my textbook) and then learn American history. I have a ton of math to do, I know I'll start out the year with SAT math because I have to take the PSAT, the SAT II and the SAT, but then I've got to finish the sequential 3 curriculum and a bunch of shit and perhaps even get into some precalculus. I'm so far behind in math that I'll probably work with Maggie during my gap year. Still with homeschool, Mrs. L. will be coming to teach us languages. So I've got to relearn Spanish, which will definitely fuck up my French, and I might learn some Latin, which Mrs. L. got a degree in from the Sorbonne University in Paris. (Why go to Paris to study Latin? Just curious.) Joanne will still be teaching modern Hebrew. We'll still be working with Carley, but probably less often. Mom thinks that since Kelsey and Alexa will be doing the JHU writing tutorials, we should do something different with Carley, and she had the idea of doing a sort of classic-books-course thingie, because there are so many books that I want to read/should read but don't get around to reading, and if they were assigned, I might actually read them!
Then outside of school: I dropped not only being on my youth group board, but pretty much being in youth group period. They don't know that yet, but they certainly will by the end of the year. mwahaha. I want to be more involved in GSA and REEF this year at school. I dropped musical theater, but I'm sure I'll still go visit almost every Saturday because I loved the class and the directors (Peter and George) are awesome and I know I'll miss it, but I can't stand the thought of doing it with Kelsey and Alexa again, and plus there are so many younger kids now, and I'm not really that good at singing anyway, and I get such bad stage fright. I want to do ceramics more often this year. I want to take a ballet class if I can find a time that works. There aren't any writing tutorials for me to do, but Ben R. just told me that he'll find something for me to do. I'm going to be typing for Dr. Joan a lot this year.
So there we go: AP Psych, AP French, physics, global history, American history, math, Spanish, Hebrew, Latin, Language Arts, ceramics, GSA, REEF, ballet, tutorial, typing, and taking all my tests.
As for the tests, the PSAT is in October, and I had planned on taking the math and writing SAT IIs in November and the SAT in December. Then midterms in January, March may be the pushed-back test dates if I can't make the fall, AP's in May, physics exams in June, and then I'm done, done, done, blissfully done with high school.
Think I can do it?
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Why is it that clothes always look so much better in the dressing room than in front of the mirror at home? I bought the awesomest tan shirt in Nantucket and then I tried it on at home and it looks like shit. This has happened so many times. I think they must have Special Mirrors To Make You Think You Look Good And Then Buy The Clothes But Not Be Able To Return Them. Henceforth called SMTMYTYLGATBTCBNBATRT, though that's pretty long too. Alright, I simply won't mention them again.
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Update on medical situation: Poison ivy is pretty much non-existent and doesn't itch. Only four more days of taking the medication. Still have not found any sign of the glowstick in my, uh, excrement. It's been a month, so I'm hoping that it simply disintegrated and came out painlessly. Phew.
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I do NOT want to like Matt. I really don't. He's dating Sarah, who clearly really likes him, and when he got to CTY, he already HAD a girlfriend at home in California. Don't know what happened to her. He went out with Pippa last year and hurt her badly, again, don't know details, but it was definitely Not Good. But damnit, why does he have to be so cute and so charismatic and why did he have to tell me I was beautiful and why did he have to give me a goodbye kiss and say that made his night? Even while he was going out with Sarah at camp he was still flirting with Rachel 24/7, even in FRONT of Sarah, and running around at the last dance giving everyone goodbye kisses.
I haven't actually liked anyone since Rob at CTY two years ago, and I'm fine like that. Maybe I should have gone out with Raymond two years ago, maybe I should have hooked up with Anthony at the last dance this year. But I don't know, I'm just... comfortable... right now.
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See the title of this entry if you want to know why I skip around from subject to subject so much.
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You know what I was remembering this morning? When I was littler, I used to like to look at naked women. Isn't that strange? Actually, I didn't mind looking at naked men (I'm taking paintings and statues here, people, I wasn't that perverted of a kid), but I thought that the female form was more beautiful. I don't remember how the conversation came up, but I remember David offering to get me an issue of Playboy or something... great big-brotherly advice, right? (Well, he IS also the one who told me I could try pot with him, and who has introduced me to every kind of alcohol I've tried so far. Last night at dinner Lauren got semi-drunk off a margarita, and she decided that together, we will find an alcoholic drink that I like. Mwahaha.) But anyway, see, I'm not attracted to females. I just still think that they have prettier bodies than guys. More curvy. More huggable. Does that make any sense?
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I haven't posted anything on fanfiction in nearly three months.
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The other night at dinner, when Allison had come over swimming, for some reason the topic of Eminem came up, and I remembered that my two-year anniversary in October is approaching... when I had "The Marshall Mathers LP" parental advisory cd, and my parents confiscated it. I wrote them a two-page later explaining why I wanted it. I'm going to post the letter on here at some point, so I won't go into detail, but I also said that I had been depressed and angry for years, and they sent me back to Marsha. However, I didn't actually TALK to Marsha until one year ago, but that's another story.
So at dinner Mom was saying, trying to imitate me, "Yes, rape, murder, death, he's so angry, I relate to his anger." I DID relate to his anger! She was being sarcastic, and I was being honest. No, I don't want to rape anyone or kill anyone, but that was just the way he took out his anger in his lyrics. I took out my anger by hateful, hateful, hateful poems and daydreams and it wasn't enough, I needed more, I was about to explode. Then I got his cd and just listening to it relaxed me, for some odd reason. It reminded me that there were people out there with much worse problems than I had, and that there were angry people out there too, and I wasn't alone. I didn't particularly like the lyrics but the anger was all I needed. He was fueled by anger and hate and I was too. So maybe we hated different people for different reasons and we were angry about different things but we were both angry and hateful.
I don't like Eminem anywhere near as much as I like to. I still like rap, though, because it has a funky beat and it's just good to listen to, but I prefer music with lyrics that hit closer to home.
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Upon my suggestion, Gramie and Grumps bought Kelsey "The Art of the Matrix" and "The Art of the Lord of the Rings" books for her birthday. They look so cool! And I have my big "Rent" book too. So much to read. Still on the third act of "Tartuffe." Actually, haven't started it yet.
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Getting sick of my music. I want to burn Lauren's Green Day cd and David's Thrice and Starting Line and Nirvana cds. I REALLY want the Moulin Rouge soundtrack.
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I want to dress up as Eowyn for Halloween. The question is, where could I get an outfit like hers?
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We're going out to Utah for a weekend in October. Columbus Day weekend or something. Dad just bought the tickets. We're going to scout out places for Alexa's Bat Mitzvah, which is steadily becoming a reality -- it'll probably be over the July 4th weekend next year. You know, it's interesting how each of our Bar and Bat Mitzvahs have been different. No, actually, David's and Lauren's were pretty similar, because we hadn't really looked into other options. Services at the temple, parties afterward at home in a big tent outside, not too many people, catered by that Mexican restaurant. Mine was tiny, in Israel, atop Masada, with Gramie and Grumps, Sarah K., Dr. Joan, Aunt Dale, Allison, Scott, and the eight of us. Kelsey's was really really small for at Bat Mitzvah, a service and a party at home, with family and some of our closest friends who would have been insulted if they hadn't been invited. That kinda sucked though, Kelsey insisted on it being tiny, and there were a lot of people who we're still close to but who we couldn't invite if we wanted to keep it at home. Alexa's will also be small, I mean Utah, who's going to be willing to fly out there for a Bat Mitzvah?
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The old computers have been unplugged. One is going out to Utah, and we're donating the other one to one of Maggie's schools.
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Lauren's getting a new cell phone, and I might get her old one, but probably not.
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Thank you for everyone who's given my gbook love, I appreciate it and I'll return it when I get back home.
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Listening to the soundtrack from "Center Stage." That's Miriam's favorite movie ever. I like it too. Sometimes I wish I'd stuck with dancing, but I wasn't really that good. I guess I *could* have been, if I'd stuck with it like Alexa, but it would be too hard to be in Lauren's shadow for the rest of my life.
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There's this one cool hair store in Nantucket where we spent about twenty minutes once, and Lauren and I decided that this will be the year when I wear my hair in a ponytail as little as possible. I really hate it up. I like it down with nothing in it, but Mom says I look witchy. (No one else does. When it's down I've been told I look like Jennifer Aniston, who I think is pretty, and Jennifer Love Hewitt, who I don't think is pretty but it was meant as a compliment anyway, and when it's up I've been told I look like a monkey. Go figure.) You can buy hair clips much cheaper in Utah, so I have a feeling that weekend in October we're going to experiment with pulling it back in different, more interesting ways.
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If your name is Nicholas, then your nickname is Nick. Don't ask me why I just thought of that. And you know what? It would really suck to be named Dick.
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Remember David's friend Jeremy, the one who was in the Olympics for freestyle? He is no longer dating Mrs. Fields' daughter. He is now dating Mandy Moore.
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Alright, I think that's enough miscellaneous musings for now. I'll be back sometime Monday. Have a good weekend!
