5:27 p.m. - 2002-06-19
Breasts, nipples, bras, and an Ode to Houseguests
Quote of the Day:
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
haha.
I am so hot right now. (Pilar must be here!) No, seriously, we don't have the air conditioning on, but the windows are wide open, and I'm just suffocating. It isn't any better outside. I'm almost tempting to go swimming... actually... that's a good idea. Maybe I will go swimming. We have a pool inside, but I don't go swimming very often at all because it's such a pain to wash my hair, I'm lazy, and whenever we bring a stereo down there we can't agree on music. But actually, hmmm... now I'm thinking about it. Dad's in the city for meetings, he should be back in half an hour, and we wanted to do something fun tonight, so maybe we could do that. Mom and Lauren are on the plane home from Vancouver as we speak; they'll be in late tonight.
We filmed another two scenes for Mom's movie. In one, Alexa actually *eats* broccoli, and I filmed what she did afterward (run to the sink, spit it out, and rinse her mouth out with water). haha. In the other, I tell her that I look like such a witch with my hair down, and then I tell her that hand motions are *so* last year (while making elaborate hand motions). All inside jokes in the family, but she'll appreciate them.
I've been trying to settle down and do chemistry all day long. I woke up at eight, looked at the clock, got mad at myself because every single day when I sleep late, I've been waking up at seven-something or eight-something, even when I go to bed close to midnight. It's awful! So I made myself lie in bed for another fifteen minutes and the next thing I knew Dad threw the door open at 10:45. Whoops.
The problem with my room is that there's no way to escape the light. I love light in the mornings when I have to get up for school, but not when I want to sleep late. I have three windows that face the side wherever the sun sets, and then up in the loft I have another three little windows that face the side where the sun rises. (East? I don't remember.) Anyway, the loft windows don't have blinds, so the light is always streaming in, and I just can't get to sleep.
I was cleaning out my school backpack this morning to avoid studying for the chem Regents (I don't really need to study, but I need to do the questions in the review book, and I really, really don't want to do that). I found a note that I had written to Missy toward the beginning of the year, forgotten about, and then SHE found it and gave it back to me. I wrote it in Hebrew (English words in the Hebrew alphabet). I meant to type it up, but it's upstairs, and it's even hotter upstairs, so that's not an option.
Anyway, it was about Jessica vs. Bras. It was very amusing.
And it reminded me that I have to try to get to a bra store before I go to France. I only have two bras that I like, both underwire, one black, one white. Then I have two others same brand, same size, in beige, but they don't fit. It's really weird. Then I have like ten bras which I don't like and which don't fit well, and then sports bras, which I hate. They're so... inhibiting. They squish you! It's awful! *shudders* See, Lauren thinks they're the most comfortable things in the entire world, but she has small boobs. I just... ow. I slept with a sports bra on during the Bat Mitzvah weekend because we had so many guests, and I kept thinking that when I woke up, my boobs would be squished completely flat. That would look bizarre.
But, yeah. Gotta get more bras.
Then as I'm sitting on the bed rereading the note I decided to reread my notebook. Instead of getting a yearbook this year, I had people sign a little notebook that Zoe gave me last year. All the people from CTY 2001 signed the notebook too. I wish I'd had it at CTY 2000, because I really really liked the people there. :( But oh well.
Anyway, I flip it open to a random page, and see, "I HEART YOUR NIPPLES! --A. Cornell"
That gave me a good laugh.
We had some strange, strange times at CTY last summer during study hall. All the people in writing classes get to have study hall in their rooms rather than in the classrooms. We all used to go into Mer's and my room and do our reading and talk and talk and then say that it was too much reading for us to do in the allotted two hours time slot.
One day, Amanda was sitting at the foot of my bed when she randomly pulled her boob out of her tank top and said something along the lines of, "You know, I really don't like my breasts. My nipple color is so different from my skin color."
So then we all had to compare nipple colors.
Mine were the same color as Amanda's. Later on we found out that Dave's were the same color too. We became nipple sisters + a nipple brotha. Kim had really small breasts and her nipples were super super light-colored. (Kim was dating a guy named Josh, but everyone called him Buddy Holly.)
Then, Mike (affectionately called M-Dawg, who was supposed to be supervising the study hall) decided to walk in.
It was one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life.
Fortunately, no one's boob was hanging out of their shirt at that point. But Kim's had been about a millisecond before.
It took us five minutes to regain our composure. He wanted to know what was so funny.
"Uhhh... Mer just raped Kim."
"What?"
"Oh, yes," said Mer, grabbing Kim and throwing her down on the bed.
Then Dot entered the room. Andrea had some sort of eye problem which made reading difficult for her, and Dot read all the homework aloud. As soon as M-Dawg left, we told Dot what we had been doing. Dot was amused. She didn't want to show us her nipples. We couldn't imagine why.
Amanda then told us the names of her boobs. I can't remember what they were called, but she graciously agreed to name Our Boobs as well. She named Dot's, Kim's, and mine. Mine were named Gretchen and Liliana. Liliana is the left one.
The next night was reallllly hot, so everyone decided to have study hall in bikini tops. Don't even ask.
And guess who was supervising study hall? Yup, M-Dawg again.
So Mer decided to molest him. She went and sat on his lap in her bikini top and short shorts and said, "Ohhh, M-Dawg!"
We were again hysterical.
Another time at lunch, we were telling Orren (O for short) about how Amanda had named our boobs. We introduced them to him by name, though not by sight.
"So, Kim," asked O, "has Buddy Holly met your... ladies?"
With that note, I'm going to go back to trying to catch up to the present...
5/26: The K. family left that morning (Sunday). We spent the rest of the morning getting ready for lunch. Thirty people, almost entirely family except for Dr. Joan and Kristen and Steve. Alexis went into the city with Kay to pick up bagels, lox, and all kinds of stuff. Mom made steak salad and pesto tortelleni. The Nantucket Bake Shop shipped cookies and muffins, which was pretty awesome. Overnight delivery! They're the best. Lauren's birthday is August 18 and Kelsey's birthday is August 19, and every year we're in Nantucket then, so they always alternate getting a fudge cake from the Bake Shop or an ice cream cake from the Juice Bar. But the Bake Shop makes the best cranberry bread in the world, and all kinds of berry muffins, and chocolate chunkers and great cookies. We love them so much.
Anyway, it was all really good, and the brunch meant that we had more of a chance to talk to the older relatives that we don't get to see as often, like Patsy. (We all will forever worship Patsy because she gave Mom the recipe for brownies. Those brownies are heavenly. And I mean heavenly. They are absolutely inCREDible. Sure, Mom has tweaked it a bit, but essentially it's hers.)
The best part of the meal was when Dad read aloud his Ode to Houseguests, which I shall type at the end of this entry.
Kristen left a little after lunch. When things quieted down a bit, in the evening, Lauren, Kelsey, Alexa, and I decided to go watch "The Matrix." Lauren and I had seen it zillions of times before, but Kelsey and Alexa hadn't. They got hooked. Completely obsessed. They've watched it at least ten times since then, and Kelsey bought this DVD, which I really want to watch.
5/27: We didn't have school, OR classes with Maggie, which was pretty incredible. I slept late, and missed saying goodbye to Bunny and Steve, which I felt badly about. Happy fifteenth birthday to Kim, mentioned earlier in this entry, and happy eightieth birthday to Christopher Lee! YAY! To celebrate, we went to see the 4:20 showing of "Attack of the Clones." (Well, actually just because that was the only time we could find to see it, but we decided it was definitely to celebrate.)
I didn't like it. But, see, I haven't seen any of the Star Wars movies except for "The Phantom Menace," which I didn't really remember anyway. I want to have a Star Wars fest with Missy and watch them all. I've seen "Spaceballs" which was hysterical.
I don't know, I was just... well, bored. The music was good, but the battle scenes didn't have the intensity of Lord of the Rings. And the love story was just awful. Every single line they uttered was cheesy. "I'm not afraid of death, I've been dying every day since you came back into my life" or whatEVER it was, it was just so bad.
There were, however, three redeeming features:
1. Christopher Lee as Count Dooku!
2. The deathsticks scene.
3. Where Anakin and Amidala tell Obi-Wan that they're there to rescue him, and he says "Oh, good job!"
I didn't hate it, but it wasn't very enjoyable. Anyway, when I got home, I signed on to one of my AOL accounts (I created one that I was going to switch to this summer). I had a bunch of emails bounced back from the Mailer-Daemon, to faulty addresses, and apparently the emails that I "sent" were invitations to porn.
Interesting.
So I had to go through the whole mess of deleting that account and running virus scans and the whole thing, then I created a new account, more on that later. But that kind of destroyed my evening. Cassandra also visited on Monday as well.
5/28: "The Eminem Show" came out, which Kris burned for me, and so did "Harry Potter"! I had preordered it from amazon.com and it came in the mail that day, which made me very happy. I wrapped it up and gave it to Kelsey as a sort of Bat Mitzvah gift.
Went to the mall for a while because Kay loves shopping, and David wanted to do something there with Cassandra. I bought two Father's Day cards, a Beanie Babie dog for Kelsey, and "Among the Betrayed," Margaret Peterson Haddix's new book. Good book. I liked some of her other ones better than this series ("Just Ella" was great, and "Turnabout" was really good, and even "Takeoffs and Landings" and "Running Out of Time"). But anyway, it was good.
Spent a good deal of the afternoon making phone calls for temple youth group to try to convince them to go white-water rafting on Sunday. Then Lauren rented "She's All That", which I didn't love. I thought it was too similar to "10 Things I Hate About You" and not as good (plus, Freddie Prinze Jr. is NOT as hot as Heath Ledger). I mean, it wasn't necessarily a BAD movie, and it was fun to watch together, even if Kelsey left after twenty minutes. But that's Kelsey. She doesn't like chick flicks, and rarely tolerates romance.
Well, that's three days. Okay, right? ;) No, actually it's pathetic, but Dad's going to be home in a half-hour and we need to clean up the schoolroom. So I'll leave you with the Ode to Houseguests (please note that the "brilliant" in the last line teases our English cousins, who often say that). and I'll go send a message to the notify-list! This is so exciting for me! :)
Love, Jessica
ODE TO HOUSEGUESTS, by my dad
I think that we have never seen
House guests like our seventeen
Who roll their sleeves up at the dawn
And exert each shred of brains and brawn
***********
From setting tables with flair and chic
To typing ribbons round blue batik
To moving chairs and hauling couches
These house guests are no kind of slouches
***********
So hosts -- we have some good advice
Select your guests and check them twice
And you may find, as we have done
When you work and play together, it's brilliant fun!
