1:53 p.m. - 2002-03-14

The Fellowship of the Matrix

OLD ENTRIES AT HTTP://JESSICA5787.DIARYLAND.COM

First off, here's a joke Jackie sent me a while ago which I thought was very funny, a combination of "The Matrix" and "The Fellowship of the Rings." I don't, however, know the author. Sorry!

Elrond: "As you can see we've had our eye on you for some time now, Mr. Aragorn.

It seems you have been living two lives.

In one life, you're Aragorn son of Arathorn a king for a respectable kingdom, you are the heir of Elendil, you have the sword Anduril and you help Arwen take out her garbage.

The other life is lived in the woods, where you go by the ranger alias of 'Strider' and are guilty of virtually every elf crime we have a law for.

One of these lives has a future, the other does not.

I'm going to be as forthcoming as I can, Mr Aragorn.

You're here because we need your help.

We know that you've been contacted by a certain individual, a wizard who calls himself.. Gandalf.

Now whatever you think you know about this wizard is irrelevant.

He is considered by many authorities to be the most dangerous wizard alive. My colleagues believe that I am wasting my time with you, but I believe you wish to do the right thing. We're willing to wipe the slate clean, give you fresh start, and all that we're asking in return is your cooperation in bringing a known ring to Mt Doom."

Aragorn: "Yeah, wow, that sounds like a really good deal, but I think I got a better one. How about I give you the finger, and you give me your daughter"

Elrond: "Mr Aragorn, you disappoint me."

Aragorn: "You can't scare me with this Elvish crap, I know my rights, I want my woman!"

Elrond: " And tell me Mr Aragorn, what good is my daughter if you are unable to..."

Heh heh.

Very unfortunately, my sisters have discovered the joys of Lord of the Rings fan fiction, and it has become nearly impossible for me to obtain a computer. One thing that I do find amusing about the whole thing is that there are 4805 total (at least there were last time I checked) stories about Lord of the Rings on this one site, and only 167 of those are rated from G - PG-13! (The only ones they're allowed to read, of course, though if they read any R or NC-17 probably no one would even know.) I like the fan fictions, mostly the funny ones, but some of the pairings are quite bizarre. I hope it's not just me who thinks that it would be physically VERY difficult for Legolas and Gimli to have a sexual relationship. There's a slight, oh, say, two-foot height difference. And why would Aragorn cheat on Arwen with Frodo? That was just strange. And these are just the PG-13 ones!

So Andrea Yates was convicted of two capital murder charges. I don't know that much about the case, but I don't think she should be given capital punishment, or a lifetime in jail. She should be institutionalized. She's mentally insane! Like how my cousin Allison was, when she was doing really badly in the fall, she's delusional and can't really tell the difference between right and wrong. At least that's what her lawyers want you to think. But the fact remains that drowning your children and being convinced that's the RIGHT thing to do doesn't seem like the kind of thing a persun completely in his or her right mind would do.

The cover story in "Newsweek" is on schizophrenia this week; unfortunately, for some reason we only get "Time" now. If anyone read it, let me know what you thought!

Speaking of magazines, and reading in general, my nightstand is heaped about a foot high with stuff I need to read. I have the last few issues of "Imagine" (I tried to link it but for some reason it's not working, www.jhu.edu/gifted/imagine) "Muse", and "Cicada", all educational magazines, wohoo. Plus, let's see. My aunt Jill's book, the book of American Short Stories 2000 (what I was using for the writing tutorial), a biography of Picabo Street (a downhill racer), the Royal Diaries book of Lady of Ch'iao Kuo (a historical fiction book, which I got because I was studying the time period... a year ago), "Armageddon Summer" (because I'd just seen the movie, with Liv-Tyler-Who-I-Hate-Despise-And-Detest), "Romeo and Juliet" (which I meant to read a year ago), "Seven Spiders Spinning" (because it's by Gregory Maguire, but it's a kid's book), "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" (which I need to read for my Language Arts project), "Animal Farm" (I loved "1984"), "Elske" (because Cynthia Voigt is a good author), "The Hobbit" (rereading), "Magic Steps" and "Street Magic" (because "Cold Fire," Tamora Pierce's new book, should be coming out this month, and it's the sequel, I want to reread them), "A Sorcerer's Companion to Harry Potter," "Forever Sisters" (a Chanukah present from Lauren, it's a book of short stories), "I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings," "The White Mercedes" (Philip Pullman is a great author), "Taking A Gap Year" (not the clothing store), "Lost" (rereading; because he's such an incredibly amazing author), "Flyers" (something Kelsey and Alexa wanted me to read), "The Eight" (the global studies honors class read it over the summer, and I meant to do the same, haha), and one of the Dragonlance books (K&A love them, and Amanda is mad at me that I haven't read it yet.) Phew. That took a while. Yeah. Has anyone read any of them?

As for the Tamora Pierce book, "Cold Fire," strangely, amazon.com says it comes out in March 2002 (uh, yeah, it IS March 2002). No specific date, however, for Lady Knight," they say it comes out on August 27th. Why a specific date for August, but not for this month? Grrrr. (And it might be coming out in May. That's what her official website says, and I think barnesandnoble.com does too! Argh! When does it come out? (And if you like her books, you should definitely check out her official site, because she has excerpts from both of those upcoming books up. Yayyyy!

Plus, Donna Jo Napoli has a new book that came out on Tuesday. Eee! She's a really interesting author. She retells fairy tales mostly. She retold Rumpelstiltskin ("Spinners"), Jack and the Giant Beanstalk ("Crazy Jack"), Beauty and the Beast ("Beast"), Rapunzel ("Zel"), a book sort of like The Little Mermaid ("Sirena"), Hansel and Gretel ("The Magic Circle"), and one other that I'm forgetting. Yeah. Anyone read her? She's good.

I wasn't very productive yesterday . Lauren drove me home from the French honors society thing and then I was pretty much unproductive for the rest of the day. I spent most of it online. :) I did worksheets for French and chemistry, plus I finally wrote the thank-you note to Mari. I also did most of my global reading, I only have about six pages left. I read about the French Revolution and now I'm reading about Napoleon. Then I have about ten essayish questions, and I'm done with global! Yay! Today I want to finish the global reading, plus my chemistry outline (I only have one section left, on the solubility equilibrium), half an hour of Spanish (yeah, I didn't do that yesterday), and I'd love to get a head start on my math. Mrs. H won't be at school tomorrow, so I'll do my French homework then. I also need to finish copying over my chem notes for Missy. We took so many notes for this unit!

I was going to work out and watch "Friends" last night, but Mom wanted the rec room, so I had to go early, and I watched the first half-hour of "10 Things I Hate About You." That is SUCH a great movie. "We're screwed." "Hey, man, I don't want to hear you be pessimistic!" "We're screwed!" "Much better."

Nothing much happened in school today, we had a double chem lab. Mr. C had about ten of these tiny little beakers, they were really cute, so of course everyone (all the girls) wanted one. Lauren and I were working together and we each got one. Then Jessica came over and stole one, and she wouldn't give it back, and Lauren was getting all pissed because it was so obnoxious.

Then Molly (Jessica's lab partner) comes up with the brilliant excuse, "Oh, I'm, like, obsessive-compulsive. No, really. Like, they all have to be the same size. I can't stand it otherwise."

Jessica chirps in, "Oh, yeah. You don't want to see her upset!"

So we left the bitches along with their six cute beakers. Now, okay, beakers don't matter. But they're so obnoxious and annoying!!! Argh! And I don't know whether or not Molly is really obsessive-compulsive, but that is NOT something to joke about. She pisses me off so much. I would dearly love to smack her and then chop off all her hair ... No, not really. I'm a pacifist. But it would be nice to just make her shut up for once and realize that she is NOT the best thing since sliced bread.

Though, actually, what's so great about sliced bread?

I had Hebrew classes with Joanne, she brought a Regents test, which pissed me off.

"But I'm not taking the Regents."

"Oh, I know, dear. But it's nice to see what's on it. You know some of this."

Uhhh... suuuuure I do.

I had forgotten to do my homework yesterday (like I said, I was VERY unproductive!), so I did it this morning, heh heh. She gave me more homework, I have to read a story. Eh. I'll do it on Wednesday. :)

Alexa got her bottom braces on this morning, and then went to get her ears pierced! Ouch! Two painful things in one day! (I must note, however, that she is completely playing up the braces pain so that she can have ice cream, and also that I have utterly no sympathy for any pain involved with getting earrings, seeing as I had to wait until I was thirteen fucking years old and she isn't even eleven yet.) Kelsey was all pissed because Mom wouldn't be there to pick her up from school, and Dad was in the city, so she had to walk home. It was, however, a really nice day. I really wish we had had one great big DUMP (which it's doing in Utah, wah wah wah) of snow!!! I hate hot weather. Grrr.

The eyes in my project in digital media still look kind of weird, they're not really the right sizes, but maybe I'll just say I meant for them to be like that. :) Then I was fooling around with the toolbox and I put on a multicolored gradient, and it looked sooo cool! Usually the gradients covered up almost everything, but this just made it look sort of misty. I think I'll print out two copies when I'm done, one with the gradient, one without, and see which one Mrs. M prefers.

Alright, Carley's going to be here in a little over an hour, so I'm going to go finish my chem outline.

Please sign my guestbook! Or leave me a note! :)

Jessica

Mordor